April 12, 2020
Easter…a time of joy and remembrance of our Savior’s death and resurrection. So many sweet memories of Easter’s past. Growing up, I recall fun shopping trips with my Mom for beautiful dresses, which generally needed ruffles and lace, new white shoes (Buster Brown was a favorite!), getting Mom a corsage, and going to a special Easter Sunday service.
Then, I had my own daughter, and oh, how I loved shopping with Ashley! In fact, the week before she died, we went shopping…after getting our hair done! We loved being together…always. I hold tight to the sweet memories of shopping and of Easter mornings and Easter services and Easter baskets and Easter egg hunts with Ashley and with Zach. She was always looking out for Zach and helping him. I hold those memories close to my heart.
Easter…the resurrection of Jesus Christ, my beloved Redeemer. My precious Ashley…resurrected on Easter Sunday. Easter will forever be an intertwining of these…leaving me with mixed feelings. A grateful, thankful heart that Jesus, the Son of God, came to this earth, to take on human form, to die for my sins, and then to be resurrected from the grave. Grief that Ashley is not with me, grief that Easter will forever hold a place of great pain and trauma in my heart, yet full of love to God, who provided a way for Ashley, for me, for each of us…to spend eternity with Him, and to have my family one day reunited.
Resurrection…Jesus…death does not win. LIFE WINS…and that is the victorious space I seek to embrace.
So this week has been one of grief and pain, just as it was for a rejected Jesus and a Father who willingly…willingly…gave His Son to death for an eternity of LIFE!
On that beautiful first Easter morning…there was victory, and hope restored, a risen Savior, and death defeated! For me, sweet memories, heart-wrenching memories. Most importantly, I have hope and gratefulness, and thoughts of my beautiful girl in heaven…and what that is like for her!! My Redeemer lives, and Ashley is alive forever more with Him! Oh, beautiful heaven…victory…reunited…forever. What a day that will be!!
If I could write a song, it would be something like this, for I often find myself wondering what heaven is like for Ashley and what she is doing there. And I so want her to know that her life had and continues to have meaning. Beauty unimaginable! (The artist, Nicol, lost an infant son, and it is certainly a fitting song for someone who lost a young child, but appropriate for any of us who have lost a child…no matter their age.)
Ashley’s life and death changed so much…how my heart aches for home. Easter and home will forever be intertwined in my heart. Filled with a desire to be…home. 💕
Lyrics:
Verse 1:
What is it like to be held in the same arms that hold the universe?
What is it like to sleep on the chest of the king of heaven and earth?
When you open your eyes and look on the face of the giver of life, the author of grace, do you know?
(Chorus)
That your days here changed everything
You’re missed here and will always be
But you left here the greatest gift of all
‘Cause our hearts ache for home
Verse 2:
What is it like to breathe in and breathe out heaven’s glorious light?
What is it like to be robed in perfection, no reason to cry?
When you fell on your face, your Father’s kiss, His welcome embrace, we prayed for this.
You should know
(Chorus)
Bridge:
So twinkle twinkle little star
We will keep you in our hearts
Twinkle twinkle little star
We will need you where you are
(Chorus)
