Sept. 30, 2019 Beautiful. Ephemeral. Big revelation coming; I love butterflies. Who doesn’t right? Since April 21st, I find myself drawn to them, and I see them more than I did before. Well, maybe I notice them more. I don’t like to think that I would have been oblivious to something so enchanting, but perhaps….…
Note: Our house floods fairly often, and this was written after being flooded. Today has been unexpectedly emotional. Cleaning…finding things I had forgotten about…finding things that are likely ruined, things I wasn’t ready to say “good-bye” to yet. So, this is my “Hope Chest”, which I’ve had for 36 years. It holds many special memories.…
Get-aways have always been a needed retreat for me and Bill. Now that Ashley is gone, it has become even more important. We love Alpine and Big Bend…the quietness, serenity, and slower pace are so refreshing. As we left, I asked God for a special sign. It wasn’t what I asked Him for, but it…
September 9, 2019 Yesterday, Bill and I took his delicious BBQ (brisket and ribs) to the fire station (Houston Fire Station 78) that came to our aid the night we found Ashley. They are right next door to where she lived, and on that night, I was able to go to the balcony and call…
September 7, 2019 I hate the good-byes of this journey. They are constant, and unexpected…like a bandage being ripped off. Every bandage is one more goodbye, an acknowledgement of Ashley’s absence, of her loss in my life. With most painful things in my life in the past, I preferred to rip that thing off, get…
August 21, 2019 I am headed out tomorrow on a grief journey. For the past two and a half months, I’ve tried to leave. Oklahoma was my destination of choice…family (looootttttss of family 😍), friends. I have the sweetest aunt and uncle who lost their son a year ago, and I thought it would be perhaps…
August 17, 2019 We all have them. Physical scars, emotional scars. You cannot make it through this life without pain…without scars. What started this post was this: I was thinking about Ashley and about heaven, and how she will be different and how she will be the same. That led me to think about her…
August 8, 2019 I can hear Ashley in my head. She’s saying to me, “Mooooommmm, enough! Where’s the joy?” I don’t feel a lot of joy these days, but Ashley was so full of joy. She loved laughter and she loved making people laugh. (So, I opened up this post of FB for stories of…
You Say This post is difficult (and too long), and deeply revealing regarding Ashley’s life. It falls to me to be her voice, and that is a great responsibility because she would have made her mark on this world. As I’ve prayed about this, I’ve felt that I have her blessing, but have still green…
July 29, 2019 I’m in a perpetual place of no time. Time as I knew it no longer exists. And yet, it persists. Continually marching on. Never mind that I want all time to stop. To cease. As of April 19th. Two days before Ashley left this world. Tow days before my life did a…