Living this life the best I know how…Jesus is my Savior…getting me through these moments that add up to a life….a journey. I’m a wife to Bill, a Mom to my heavenly daughter Ashley, and my son Zach. Just so we’re clear… I’m also Mom to Max, my Toy Schnauzer, and a caretaker to four chickens (Red, Peggy Sue, Ethel (my favorite!), and Lucy. I’m also a daughter and sister. Last, I’m a NICU nurse to the most precious beings on this earth. There it is in a nutshell.
Grief? Well, that has been a life-changer. Losing my precious daughter is the most wrenching pain imaginable (or unimaginable). So, what’s a girl to do? Well, I write. As I’ve done this grief journey, I haven’t found a lot of helpful books. And at 2+ years in, a lot of people no longer want to hear about Ashley or the pain that still floods my heart. Grief is a part of this life. Losing a child is not the normal part of life…completely unnatural. Yet, grief in its many forms will hit us in one way or another. Grief is a taboo subject, making people uncomfortable…it should not be. I want to bring it out in the open…to talk about it. The hard parts, the hopeful parts, the dark parts. I want others to have a voice for their grief, too. I don’t want society to shut me up because I somehow don’t meet their expectations of “acceptable” grief. I do talk about other things in my life, but grief…yeah, that’s a big one! And just so you know up front…I’m not a concise wordsmith…I travel down rabbit holes and more rabbit holes to get where I’m going. I hope you’ll travel with me down those many rabbit holes! Because for most of us…that’s life…not a straight line, but mountains and valleys and rabbit holes…and maybe a few chickens along the way!
So, welcome. I hope my words give you insight on grief, and on Ashley, and how my Savior continues to get me through each and every moment. And that you, sweet friends, are not alone on this journey of life. 💕
July 16, 2019 Was going to post something else today, but then saw a question in a closed group. A Mom (who lost her child), was asking why people who have not lived through the death of a child, say that God is good and answers prayers and they are blessed. It is sometimes difficult…
I have a playlist titled “Ashley” that I’ve created and listened to for the last 81 days. The Isaacs are one of my favorites and this song is so fitting. I pray it encourages you and lifts your spirit today. As I’m sure many of us Moms do, when one of us (me to kids…
Edited…multiple times. Ashley lived, and I am so very proud that she was mine. She was a kind, feisty, beautiful soul, who desired love, kindness, and beauty in her life. I will forever speak her name with love, and more pride than I could ever express. Ashley Giffen. For those of you who have loved…
July 2, 2019 So much in my life right now is bittersweet. I walk a line between this relentless grief and joy of my memories with Ashley. Right now, grief mostly wins. It has been ten weeks without my Sunshine, 72 days since I have held her and touched her. Every day, I want her…
Welcome to Gayla’s Life, a place where I hope we can visit, a place where I can share my thoughts and what God is teaching me. This life has been quite a journey, and I hope you will journey it with me. On April 21, 2019 (Easter Sunday), this life I live changed forever, in…