Living this life the best I know how…Jesus is my Savior…getting me through these moments that add up to a life….a journey. I’m a wife to Bill, a Mom to my heavenly daughter Ashley, and my son Zach. Just so we’re clear… I’m also Mom to Max, my Toy Schnauzer, and a caretaker to four chickens (Red, Peggy Sue, Ethel (my favorite!), and Lucy. I’m also a daughter and sister. Last, I’m a NICU nurse to the most precious beings on this earth. There it is in a nutshell.
Grief? Well, that has been a life-changer. Losing my precious daughter is the most wrenching pain imaginable (or unimaginable). So, what’s a girl to do? Well, I write. As I’ve done this grief journey, I haven’t found a lot of helpful books. And at 2+ years in, a lot of people no longer want to hear about Ashley or the pain that still floods my heart. Grief is a part of this life. Losing a child is not the normal part of life…completely unnatural. Yet, grief in its many forms will hit us in one way or another. Grief is a taboo subject, making people uncomfortable…it should not be. I want to bring it out in the open…to talk about it. The hard parts, the hopeful parts, the dark parts. I want others to have a voice for their grief, too. I don’t want society to shut me up because I somehow don’t meet their expectations of “acceptable” grief. I do talk about other things in my life, but grief…yeah, that’s a big one! And just so you know up front…I’m not a concise wordsmith…I travel down rabbit holes and more rabbit holes to get where I’m going. I hope you’ll travel with me down those many rabbit holes! Because for most of us…that’s life…not a straight line, but mountains and valleys and rabbit holes…and maybe a few chickens along the way!
So, welcome. I hope my words give you insight on grief, and on Ashley, and how my Savior continues to get me through each and every moment. And that you, sweet friends, are not alone on this journey of life. 💕
June 24, 2020 What defines me? What defines you? I was talking with a parent recently about a diagnosis for their child. That diagnosis doesn’t change who the child is: beloved! It doesn’t change that the child is still…a child…their child! It doesn’t change their dreams for that child: they may have to adjust their…
So, this morning, I had a little temper tantrum with God. When I was done, I went outside to take care of the chickens and the garden, and God totally caught m off guard with His sweet surprise and loving kindness. If you know me on this journey, you know how special butterflies are to…
A Brother’s Grief – April 22, 2020 April 22, 2020 You all don’t hear much from Zach, so thought (with his permission), I’d share his thoughts from yesterday. I so love and adore this boy. He has such a sweet, tender heart. Here it is: Today marks one year since my sister went to heaven.…
Ashley…One Year April 21, 2020 Received beautiful flowers today…remembered by sweet family and friends. Cards, texts, FB messages. It has been a day full of tears, but also great thankfulness. I had Ashley with me for almost 27 years…I’m such a grateful Mom. She is my daughter, my firstborn, my best friend, my emoji buddy,…
April 20, 2020 A.W. Tower said, “The Bible was written in tears, and to tears it yields its best treasures.” It is because of my place of grief that God’s word is so rich to me, and His promises so real. I’m so thankful for God’s word, and for the tears that wash my soul…
April 12, 2020 Easter…a time of joy and remembrance of our Savior’s death and resurrection. So many sweet memories of Easter’s past. Growing up, I recall fun shopping trips with my Mom for beautiful dresses, which generally needed ruffles and lace, new white shoes (Buster Brown was a favorite!), getting Mom a corsage, and going…
So grateful my Redeemer lives, and that Ashley is with Him today celebrating Easter in heaven…her second Easter!!! He is risen! 💕
April 4, 2020 I often wake up with a song in my head. Usually, it’s a hymn, or something on my Ashley playlist, The last week or so, it’s a song that I haven’t heard in years, not a typical song of comfort. I felt God’s impulse to share this song…but didn’t (Obviously, I’m posting…
Quiet March 26, 2020 These are strange times we are living. Many have been forced to…stop. The many activities that consume our time have…stopped. The constant motion…stopped. Our children’s many activities and games…stopped. And in its place…quiet. Perhaps even…peace? In the midst of a time when so many are fearful, is it possible? Can you…