The past week has brought several interesting conversations. Unexpected…as they often are. I have been around a 4-year-old this week who actually reminds me quite a bit of Ashley. Not in her looks, but in her curiosity, her intelligence, her honest questions. She asked me about the necklace I wear. This is a necklace I’ve…
December 27, 2022 There is so much rushing about in the Christmas season. Even now, two days later, when I go out, I still feel it. And it induces such anxiety within me. I have learned to listen for the whisper of Him who loves me above all else. It is in the quiet that…
December 25, 2022 Christmas. So many beautiful, tender moments. Memories that bring joy and tears…all in the same moment…in the same breath. This is my fourth Christmas without Ashley. The pain has mellowed some; it is not quite so ferocious, though It will always be a part of me. The house no longer holds all…
January 15, 2022 Let me start by saying this is a hard one for me to write; I have definitely struggled with just how honest and transparent I want to be. In my last post, I told you that perhaps I would one day address the suicide issue that grieving Mom’s face. So, here goes……
January 12, 2022 Let me start by saying that the honest truth of this journey has despair and depression and anxiety. Yes, even at 2.7 years. Although I sometimes touch on it in my posts, I rarely give you the full picture. Why is that? Well, because I don’t know how much “truth” people can…
January 4, 2022 I was outside with Max this morning, and calling him to come to me. Per usual Max, he ignored me. Sometimes, he actually does obey!! But this morning, he was too interested in the smells of the yard (another dog in the yard yesterday…so many smells to smell!) I had been sitting…
August 29, 2021 You can feel it, can’t you? It seems to pulsate through the air, sticking to us, surrounding us like a dark shroud, weaving its ugly tentacles around us, and suffocating us to the hope that we can only find in God. Fear. There is such divisiveness and ugly rhetoric on so many…
July 15, 2021 I have come away for a quick retreat with my sweet friends, Bob & Linda Brunson at Wellspring at The Clary House, in Bryan, TX. We have had wonderful conversations and laughter. And in between, I have sat in this beautiful window seat reading, thinking, praying, writing. I’ve been reading Heaven by…
Retreats for grieving Mothers is one of the many things I want to do to ensure Ashley’s lasting legacy. It is definitely something I feel called to do, but the logistics and reality of it are waaayyyy outside of my comfort zone, and so it is tentative. At this time, I feel led to offer…
This was written by John Stabeno on 4/19/19 (two days before Ashley died). Everything that follows is his…nothing of mine. It is truth. Many people feel awkward around parents who suffered the loss of a child. They don’t know what to say and are afraid of offending them. Some days are better than others and…