Sept. 30, 2019
Beautiful. Ephemeral.
Big revelation coming; I love butterflies. Who doesn’t right? Since April 21st, I find myself drawn to them, and I see them more than I did before. Well, maybe I notice them more. I don’t like to think that I would have been oblivious to something so enchanting, but perhaps…. Death of my Ashley has changed my perception of so many things.
Metamorphosis. Change. Oxford defines metamorphosis as a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means. Well, that is certainly what happens when one dies. In an instant, you are changed. The spirit, the soul, is transformed.
As a Christian, my belief is that Ashley had, at the age of seven, decided that she did believe: Jesus was the Son of God, born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, dies on a cross for her sins, and was raised from the dead, and now is in heaven interceding for His saints, who are here on earth. She declared that and invited Jesus to be her Savior. So, as a result of that moment in time, her salvation and eternal home in heaven was assured.
19 years later, in that moment when her life was gone, she was transformed, metamorphosized (is that a word?!), and in the presence of Jesus, her Savior. That precise…moment…in time. The soul that gave Ashley life and being…the light that blessed my life and so many others. Gone. Just…Gone. I so wish I could have been in heaven in that twinkling of an eye, could have seen the change that overtook her. From pain and suffering to joy and life everlasting. Oh, how I long more for heaven and its beauty. For my baby…for my Jesus.
So, just as the caterpillar transforms, changes through metamorphosis to this beautiful, ethereal creature, so my Ashley has transformed to her eternal body. On the journey from a caterpillar to a butterfly, there are several transformation stages. And, the thing is…those stages are not always beautiful. Rather like us. Our lives on this earth are the stages of our transformation (2 Corinthians 3:18), and not always pretty. We are making our way to that time of incredible transformation when we will be all we were created to be, freed from our mortal body; we will be like Jesus (He will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His! Philippians 3:21). No pain, no suffering. Forever in the presence of Jesus…forever in His light. Perfect. Beautiful. Forever.
God has graciously brought me butterflies to remind me that Ashley is transformed (and no, Ashley is not a butterfly!) There have been several butterflies on my front porch, one extraordinary one; there is a picture in my house, in Ashley’s room (she actually had it on her list of things she wanted when I died), a picture she saw every day, and which meant something to her; I have received several cards with butterflies, which always take my breath away for a moment; the beautiful butterflies on our trip; perhaps the most significant butterfly in this journey: the card I gave her for her 26th birthday, her last birthday with me…it shows a beautiful butterfly, and inside, the first line I wrote to her says, “I pray this year brings you wings to soar, to be all that God created you to be.” Wow. Obviously, I didn’t know what the year would bring…God knew. He knew that before her 27th birthday, she would have soared to heaven, no longer a caterpillar struggling on this earth, but in the full beauty of who God intended her to be.
Physically, Ashley was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. But oh, how she struggled. In this life, she was often that caterpillar, not seeing the true value of her! I cannot begin to imagine the beauty that is now Ashley and that now surrounds her. But she is transformed.
I received Ashley’s urn today (that’s a whole different post!), but the caterpillar/butterfly analogy is a bit like her urn. The urn is beautiful, glowing, full of rich, vibrant depth and colour…something that represents Ashley. But inside, well, they are ashes. Not beautiful. (Though for me, a form of beauty because those ashes are all that remain of her physical body.) Those ashes…the caterpillar; this urn…the beauty the butterfly of Ashley’s soul.
She is transformed in His presence, in her new life. Ashley, only better. No longer bound to this earth as a caterpillar who crawls slowly along the ground, with such a limited view of life and this world. Oh, no. She has been transformed. She is as free and as beautiful and ethereal as…a butterfly. Transformed. With the wings to soar, which I prayed that she would have! Seeing beauty from above, no longer bound to this earth. One day, I will join her. I hope and pray if you are reading this, that you will be there, too. 🦋 💕 🦋
