July 16, 2019
Was going to post something else today, but then saw a question in a closed group. A Mom (who lost her child), was asking why people who have not lived through the death of a child, say that God is good and answers prayers and they are blessed.
It is sometimes difficult to hear those words from people who have never experienced this unfashionable grief, but, I have concluded that: yes, God is still good; yes, God does answer prayer, though it’s not always the answer I want; and yes, I am blessed. So, my response will follow in the next paragraph. First, I’m going to talk to the person who says these words or something similar to a grieving parent. I would say that perhaps you don’t need to say that to someone whose world has just been torn apart. Perhaps the best thing to say is, “I’m so sorry this happened. I love you, and am here for you.” Truly, a grieving parent does not need to know what your theology is, but if I ask, then feel free to share those thoughts. Share a Scripture of encouragement, but don’t be the spiritual giant who feels the need to tell me what I should be feeling or thinking. I say all of this in love. Because, yes, I’ve had people say similar things to me. I’m not offended because I know their hearts and know that it is their way of speaking comfort. You cannot know what this feels Ike unless your child has gone before you in death, so I would just encourage you to think if your words are truly uplifting and comforting before you say them.
This road is so very difficult, and I think most of us who believe in God and a Savior, have had our faith tested by the death of our child. I’m 86 days on this path, and yes, I’ve questioned God. But through all of my grief and occasional anger, my faith has remained intact. I have seen His faithfulness through so many years. How can I doubt Him because He allowed my precious daughter to be with Him, because I didn’t get my way? The truth is, she was only on loan to me. And I could never repay Him the blessing that she was to me and many others for 26 years, 355 days.
I do feel His presence and comfort, though I didn’t at first. I’ve continued to read the Bible and devotionals Prayer has been slow to return, but I believe my tears are the prayers I can’t express, and I’ve prayed plenty of those! I don’t know why God didn’t answer my prayer to save Ashley (God always answers prayers, but it’s not always with a yes), but I do know that she is with Him. And I rejoice and am so thankful that I will see her again!!!!
Life is fragile and it is a gift. This moment is all I am guaranteed.
