I have a playlist titled “Ashley” that I’ve created and listened to for the last 81 days. The Isaacs are one of my favorites and this song is so fitting. I pray it encourages you and lifts your spirit today.

As I’m sure many of us Moms do, when one of us (me to kids or kids to me) says, I love you”, it’s often followed with, “I love you more!” And if it’s Ashley or Zach saying that to me, my response is always, “Nope! Not possible! I will always love you more!” So, this song hits me on so many levels.

Hug your babies (no matter how old!), inhale deeply of the aroma of who they are, ask questions (even the hard ones…especially the hard ones!), tell them every day how much they are loved and wanted, and that God desires the absolute best for them, and has great plans for them, that nothing and no fear is too great for God, embrace the joy and have joyful moments with them…be fully present when you are with them, take pictures (and Mamas, be in the pictures!) Don’t’ take this moment for granted! It is precious.

This is an especially difficult day. I finished the puzzle (see previous post)…so beautiful, but I just want Ashley, to touch, to hug, to hold her hand, to hear her say, “Mama” in her own special way, to hear her voice, to know her presence is near…a picture just doesn’t touch that need. Also, received her final certificate (can’t say that word, so hope you know what it means), with the actual cause. Although I was expecting it, my heart was not prepared. Can’t even open it, but it is done.

Please pray for me when God brings me to your heart. Thank you for your faithful kindness to us. My heart is full and so grateful. 

These are the lyrics:

It’s not your fault/I won’t blame You

Even though You didn’t make the mountain move

You must’ve known that in time

I’d get so much closer to you as I climb

Because You gave me strength when I was weak

Because You never lost Your faith in me.

I love You more than I did before

Cause when I needed You

You were there to pull me through

I love You still

Though I don’t understand Your will

Because You’ve been so faithful to me, Lord

I love You more.

Without some rain nothing would grow

Without some pain – how would we ever know

That our tears break Your heart

And that’s when You hurt the most

I’m finding every time You hold me close

Chorus