July 15, 2021
I have come away for a quick retreat with my sweet friends, Bob & Linda Brunson at Wellspring at The Clary House, in Bryan, TX. We have had wonderful conversations and laughter. And in between, I have sat in this beautiful window seat reading, thinking, praying, writing.
I’ve been reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn, and I strongly encourage you to read it if you have any questions about heaven.
Reading it has reminded me that I serve a God of Re. What in the world does that mean?! Well, he is a God of REdemption , of REbirth, of REnewal, of REstoration, of REsurrection, of REgeneration, or REfreshing , and of REtreat (that’s just a few!) I’m sure there are many more -re words. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, -re can be defined as “back to the original place”, and “conveys a notion of undoing”…two perfect definitions for where I am on this grief journey. I can never go back to where I was on April 21, 2019, and I can never undo Ashley’s death…but I am slowly gaining parts of who I was.
I love that God is REstoring me piece by piece. And, just to be clear, I will never be completely restored until I’m in heaven, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t working to restore me now. He is…daily.
My emotions are much more stable, but I still have moments or days of intense grief or depression. But there is an acceptance of Ashley’s absence. Acceptance of her absence doesn’t mean that I just shrug my shoulders and say, “Well she’s gone.” It’s living with and accepting the very real reality that she is gone, yet never completely at rest with her absence. But God uses that daily struggle to REmind me of His presence, and that, yes, He still has a purpose and a plan for me. And not only for me, but for Ashley also. Although her life on this earth is over, God still has a plan for her…it’s just up to me (working with God) to fulfil it. So, even on the days when I went to stay in bed, even on the days when I have no energy, even on the days where I feel no joy, even on the days where I just…can’t!! Especially on those days, God REnews me and brings to mind that we will one day be REunited. And that, well, that will be forever…joy unending!
So today, if you are struggling for whatever reason…and there are so many struggles in this life…Know that God is working on your behalf to REstore you to Him. One day, all of the pain, all of the struggle, all of the tears…all of death…will be REversed! All that God intended our human lives to be will be REestablished. RElationships, changed and diminished through absence and death, will be REstored. God’s REdemption awaits. That is available today. You don’t have to wait for His REdemption. He did that for you at the cross. He REjoices over us with singing! That is truly amazing!
And I love that one day all will be REstored in heaven…forever! What a glorious day that will be, and that…that vision of heaven…is what keeps me moving forward today…here…now. For this moment in time is all that I’m guaranteed. But hope…yes, hope rests in my heart.
Praying that you feel God’s hope today, that you are resting in His many promises, and that you are REminded of His great love for you. When the storms of this life cloud your vision and seem impossible, look to Jesus, our great Redeemer, and look to heaven, knowing that you have an eternal home…with Him…with your loved one…with my Ashley!! 💕
